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Monday 8 November 2010

Me Time


My regular readers will know I have had many issues with panic attacks and anxiety disorder in the past. It's one of the reasons I began blogging, I found being able to write and tell complete strangers how I was feeling, really helped me. Now I have made HUGE changes in my life, my anxiety is manageable, I've come off my medication and the strangers I used to rant to have become my friends. Last week, I was feeling happy and balanced and then out of the blue I had a HUGE panic attack. I was really shocked and to be honest, quite frightened by it.

The past couple of days, I've been calming myself down, with the help of my darling Whitesnake and thinking a lot about what brought it on. I'm feeling much better today but still a little out of sorts. In the past my panics have been because I have had problems to work through but I honestly feel that I had this panic because I was feeling so happy. I know it sounds crazy but after all I've been through, I'm not used to things going so well. I'm scared I don't deserve it and now that I am at a place I am content, it will be taken away from me. Self-sabotage me thinks. What do you think?

Anyway, I have some really fantastic work books I use when I feel this way and I am going to have a read today. I also find that when I am feeling anxious, it's often because I haven't been looking after myself and slipping back into those bad habits like drinking too much wine, not exercising etc, so I'll look at this as an opportunity to get myself back on track health wise.

So I just wanted to let you know that I probably won't be around much for the next couple of days but I'm doing OK. Time for some KB self reflection me thinks.

Love y'all
KB
xxx         

7 comments:

  1. KB, that must be frustrating for you but remember YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS!! We all need to do a self check now and then. It's so easy to get off track. You have learned the skills to get back on track and the optimism too. Keep up the good work. You're making progress!

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  2. Of course you deserve it silly. You are a gorgeous young woman. I have expereinced a panic attack once. It is indeed very frightening. You had some stress accompanying your new found happiness as well so that might come out but that will all be in the past. Now you can look forwards.

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  3. As always you have my love and support babe xxxx

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  4. You're a nice lady. Be well.

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  5. ((((((((((((((((((((KB))))))))))))))))))))

    Hope you're feeling better soon hun.

    Love you!

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  6. You are all so wonderful for taking the time to comment and encouraging me. Thank you.

    Love KB
    xxx

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